Disclaimer

Though a "Diary" my online diary is a work of FICTION.

It may at times strongly reflect actual events of my life, often how I honestly perceived them and display my genuine reactions. But not always and everything contained within should be treated as a fiction.

This is also a personal diary, so by reading it you are violating my privacy. And as it is a personal diary you are not allowed to hold anything you read in it against me, as you shouldn't have been reading it anyway.

Also, this diary is not to be read by anyone who has gone out with me, would like to go out with me in the future, or suspects I may like to go out with them.






Click Here for the old site, as backed up by Wayback Machine (I have gone with the 2007 version as it is the latest that is still before vodafone crunched a bunch of my files)

Tuesday, 1 October 2019

Missing

Today I have mostly spent crying.  I had had some kind of good days, but that ran out.  Today I wasn't even up for washing or dressing until I managed to make myself semi-decent so I could have a pizza delivered for dinner.

And the worst part is how much I have been missing Shitlord today.  All the affection I have for him has just been attacking me.
I know it will take time to get that out of my system, but it is just so unhelpful.  He has proven to been acting pretty monstrously toward me for years, and I still keep worrying about his life and how he will find happiness if he treats other people like that.

An old friend has been suggesting I keep a list of the worst things he did and carry it with me to read over every time I find myself missing him too much.

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